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What’s On

23 Mar

With so many stories on and the allure of the tweet, we seem to have gotten behind here at SLBTV!

Last night’s Chicago Code (I hear it’s a good one) is waiting for me on the DVR, Top Chef is new tonight and the Grey’s Anatomy musical episode (which I’m concerned about—unless it’s all Miranda and Callie ((thanks to lady B for clue-in on Callie’s vocal chops)) all day long) airs tomorrow. What I’m saying is: This is a good week for TV.

Last week marked the end of the worst season of The Bachelor ever. It was as expected, but the After the Final Rose was a mess. Not even a hot mess. Chris Harrison was a total jerk and eager to make the ladies cry and not eager to offer up tissues. I’m also over the rejected bachelor/ette as new bachelor/ette, but I will give Ashley a chance because she’s from Maine! Go Maine! Also, we learned that Vienna is going to be on The Bachelor Pad. I’ll pretend for a second that I don’t plan to watch.

The Biggest Loser is pretty good this season—we all love Courtney, right?—but I am worried about these new shiny boxing trainer people. And is it me or is everyone going a little overboard with the being nice and giving up prizes and offering to go home? I mean it makes sense sometimes and is nice, but it’s a little much.

And finally, Dancing With the Stars kicked off on Monday. Front runner: The Karate Kid! Best moment of the show was when Bruno went off on a Some Like it Hot tangent.

Thanks to Robert Couse-Baker for the pic!

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Define Star.

31 Aug

When ABC broke into the Bachelor Pad last night (which gets worse every week) to announce the new cast, I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so bad.

Margaret Cho is the bright spot in an otherwise unwatchable season. She’ll bring the funny—also, she has a belly dance background so could totally kill in the Latin numbers. Go Cho! I do worry because I think she’s touring this fall and that typically messes people up when they get to the two dances a week stage.

I have tons of love for Jennifer Grey, but I really miss her old face. It used to just be her nose, but now she’s barely recognizable. I’m still pulling for her though. As Smart Lady B pointed out, the “nobody puts Baby in a corner” references will be unbearable. I also can’t help but brace for her departing dance to “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” during which we will all barf and contemplate suicide.

As for the rest of the cast … I have no interest in any of them. There will never be another Gilles and I’m beyond disappointed in the men. Blah.

Lies, Pies and Puke.

18 Aug

I managed to catch The Pad on my trusty DVR this week. First, ABC is totally cheaping out on these dates. Body painting in what could only be the basement of the mansion? Where are my helicopters? And Gia’s date appeared to take place in a well-landscaped parking garage or something. gross.

Speaking of Gia—very interesting development from girl who’s been playing the “I’m the nice one with a boyfriend at home” character. She totally lied to Craig and all of the girls and then got all piss-ass when Nikki didn’t do as she was told. I don’t know. I feel like she’s a shady one. Also, Wes is nice now, oh and he loves Gia. Yes, I bet that’s true. Sheesh.

Regarding that pie-eating contest: That was just nasty. People puked in the pie, then ate the pie and people just let that happen? I like to see a scrawny gal chow down as much as the next guy, but that was too much.

New Lows

10 Aug

I’m ashamed. Not only did I gleefully watch The Bachelor Pad, I watched that Dating In the Dark Show (I won’t justify its existence with a link). I hate you ABC.

Regarding The Pad: Elizabeth needs to dye her hair back and stop talking. Does the Weatherman realize that his official ABC name is actually “The Weatherman?” The bunk beds are totally ridiculous. Michelle: Oy. Is Tenley for real or just super sneaky?

The men talk. No one cares. Oh look! Gymnastics!

27 Jul

So after I wasted two hours of my life on The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All, my Monday got WAY better. Briefly, regarding the Tell All: We get a sneak preview of Ali’s yellow wedding—okay, proposal—dress and nothing else happens. For two hours.

Then things improved. For me anyway, I feel like Ali is pretty screwed.

You may not know the names Mattie Larson or Alicia Sacramone—but I do. Women’s gymnastics is absolutely, hands down the best reality TV there is and, tonight, I was lucky enough to catch the Cover Girl Classic.

Every four years most people tune into the Olympics and notice one girl who was on the team before. But because I am an off-season fan, I know how the alternates missed their big chances and who the young stars are. I notice that the leggy girl from Romania finally lost the big bangs. I’m pulling for the college gymnast trying to make it on the big stage (this year it’s the likable Vanessa Zamarripa of UCLA who killed it at the NCAA championship this year—which I also watched).

Despite the lameness of tonight’s blah fest over on ABC,  I am super excited about getting together with the other smart ladies for the season finale of The Bachelorette (not to mention watching the total disaster that will be The Bachelor Pad), but what I am really looking forward to is the Visa Championships coming up August 11-14.

Tim Daggett, the Chris Harrison of USA Gymnastics, and I will see you there.

We’re not dumb, we just act that way on Mondays.

21 Jul

Welcome to Smart Ladies, Bad TV!

We are a collective of intelligent women who watch totally stupid programs (or “stories”). And while we may not believe that a stint on a reality TV show is the way to true love, we don’t watch ironically. We love this shit. We especially love Dancing with the Stars and the Bachelor franchise. From now on, all of the Bachelor-related shows will simply be referred to as The Bach. But on second thought, The Bachelor Pad has to be called the Pad…. Anyway, if you’re reading this, you’ll probably know which one we’re talking about.

We have had some unproven theories (and great spin-off ideas) over the years (though we could have done without the Jake DWTS/Bach crossover): Jason was actually supposed to be on a TLC/ABC crossover show called Little Bachelor (and did anyone else forget that he and Molly got married?).  Bret Michaels will be the next Bachelor—building on the lame ass “On the Wings of Love” season, The Smart Ladies present “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”

So, after much wine and many vegetarian entrees (aka: sea salt brownies from trader Joe’s), we thought, why keep these nuggets to ourselves? With that, we bring you this blog—just in time for the most dramatic season finale EVER!

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