Archive | The Bachelor RSS feed for this section

What’s On

23 Mar

With so many stories on and the allure of the tweet, we seem to have gotten behind here at SLBTV!

Last night’s Chicago Code (I hear it’s a good one) is waiting for me on the DVR, Top Chef is new tonight and the Grey’s Anatomy musical episode (which I’m concerned about—unless it’s all Miranda and Callie ((thanks to lady B for clue-in on Callie’s vocal chops)) all day long) airs tomorrow. What I’m saying is: This is a good week for TV.

Last week marked the end of the worst season of The Bachelor ever. It was as expected, but the After the Final Rose was a mess. Not even a hot mess. Chris Harrison was a total jerk and eager to make the ladies cry and not eager to offer up tissues. I’m also over the rejected bachelor/ette as new bachelor/ette, but I will give Ashley a chance because she’s from Maine! Go Maine! Also, we learned that Vienna is going to be on The Bachelor Pad. I’ll pretend for a second that I don’t plan to watch.

The Biggest Loser is pretty good this season—we all love Courtney, right?—but I am worried about these new shiny boxing trainer people. And is it me or is everyone going a little overboard with the being nice and giving up prizes and offering to go home? I mean it makes sense sometimes and is nice, but it’s a little much.

And finally, Dancing With the Stars kicked off on Monday. Front runner: The Karate Kid! Best moment of the show was when Bruno went off on a Some Like it Hot tangent.

Thanks to Robert Couse-Baker for the pic!

Advertisements

Womack Woes

7 Feb

Okay, my head exploded last week when the Bachelor got all Elvis-y! Everyone knows I love Elvis and have certain theories about my own past life as the King, so despite my growing hatred for this season of the most dramatic show on television, I was enchanted.

Brad took the Ashleys to Viva Elvis (lucky bitches!)—but wait, they were there to be IN the show, not the audience. Oh ABC…never saw that coming. Anyway, dumb people talked about dumb things, he picked the Ashley with the larger forehead and then they were suspended over the crowd as “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” played. But it looked like she was wearing air mail, indicating that “Return to Sender” would have been the more appropriate song. But then Brad was sort of done up military style (post Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell—did you see that eyeliner!) so maybe the mail dress was to indicate distance. But I digress.

The highlight of the season: cutting to the rejected Ashley crying in the cab (what happened to the limo? Did that funeral director girl blow the budget for the episode buying that ugly bag at Fendi?) while, “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” played in the background. Hilarious.

I don’t have much love for this season, the girls are lame and Womack is vapid on his best days. But I will give ABC kudos for the Vegas episode. Prediction for tonight: we finally figure out who Jackie is.

I need to take a moment to express my total excitement for The Chicago Code, which starts tonight on Fox. Not only was part of it filmed on my old block (we got police notices telling us not to be alarmed about random gunfire which was pretty cool), it stars my girlfriend Jennifer Beals.

Wine-less Weeknight Going to be Tough….

3 Jan

because there is sure to be a shitshow on ABC tonight that would be far more tolerable with a bottle of wine nearby.

Tonight friends, we welcome back Brad Womack as the Bachelor. I am strongly against this so far. There are so many other abs I haven’t seen yet, bullshit lines trapped in other men’s mouths.

I assume I will have more to say if I live through the season opener.

 

She carried a watermelon, America was happy!

23 Nov

I am overwhelmed with reality. Not only is there DWTS to comment on, there’s The Fashion Show (but I keep falling asleep so…I guess that’s my comment) and Millionaire Matchmaker in NYC (awesome), The Biggest Loser (damn you and your hotness Jillian Michaels!!) and the fact that The Bachelor seems to be giving the finger—in the form of the return of assface Brad Womack—to its viewers. Seriously?

But today, Jennifer Grey is where it’s at!! I LOVED the freestyle performance and think that “Do You Love Me?” was perfect. First, so smart of them to choose a Dirty Dancing song. America is clearly not voting for the best dancer (see Bristol and her invisible ankle weights), but America loves nostalgia. That Derek. So smart.

Also, for super Dirty Dancing fans like myself, this was a nice way to show that Jennifer has gone from the girl with the watermelon to the super star dancing pro! In the movie, this number was performed by Patrick Swayze and the undeniably awesome Cynthia Rhodes—the Kellerman‘s pros. Full transformation from tentative Baby to kickass Jennifer. Loves it!

And now, let’s relive the original number as we all cross our fingers that tonight’s finale goes as it should. I am still waiting for the “I’ve Had (the time of my life)” reference…

We’re not dumb, we just act that way on Mondays.

21 Jul

Welcome to Smart Ladies, Bad TV!

We are a collective of intelligent women who watch totally stupid programs (or “stories”). And while we may not believe that a stint on a reality TV show is the way to true love, we don’t watch ironically. We love this shit. We especially love Dancing with the Stars and the Bachelor franchise. From now on, all of the Bachelor-related shows will simply be referred to as The Bach. But on second thought, The Bachelor Pad has to be called the Pad…. Anyway, if you’re reading this, you’ll probably know which one we’re talking about.

We have had some unproven theories (and great spin-off ideas) over the years (though we could have done without the Jake DWTS/Bach crossover): Jason was actually supposed to be on a TLC/ABC crossover show called Little Bachelor (and did anyone else forget that he and Molly got married?).  Bret Michaels will be the next Bachelor—building on the lame ass “On the Wings of Love” season, The Smart Ladies present “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”

So, after much wine and many vegetarian entrees (aka: sea salt brownies from trader Joe’s), we thought, why keep these nuggets to ourselves? With that, we bring you this blog—just in time for the most dramatic season finale EVER!

%d bloggers like this: