Wine-less Weeknight Going to be Tough….

3 Jan

because there is sure to be a shitshow on ABC tonight that would be far more tolerable with a bottle of wine nearby.

Tonight friends, we welcome back Brad Womack as the Bachelor. I am strongly against this so far. There are so many other abs I haven’t seen yet, bullshit lines trapped in other men’s mouths.

I assume I will have more to say if I live through the season opener.

 

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Tracy Flick Syndrome

9 Dec

So the Judges’ Table last night. Wooza. The always-awesome, intense Jennifer Carroll seemed determined to sabotage herself. It’s totally the kiss of death when all of the judges hate something and the chef maintains it was awesome—over and over again. Being super rude didn’t help either.

I don’t think being mouthy got her kicked off, I think it was the food. But I feel bad for her. If she really is that intense all of the time and puts that much pressure on herself, she must be exhausted. I hope she takes a hot bath and maybe does some yoga. Watching her made me sad in the same way as the Tracy Flick character from Election. Which, coincidently, I think also applied to Brandy in DWTS, but I digress.

Favorite moments of the week: Jamie and Dale’s faces when they learned that they had to interact with children, Trey’s face when he saw his cot. Fabio selling his gnocchi with tales of his grandma. What’s up with Tiffany though? She was a force and seems to be kinda stuck in the middle.

Another awkward moment: Bringing back the host from season 1. What was that about?

Guess who stayed awake through The Fashion Show.

1 Dec

Oh yes, it was me. I mean it’s fine and everything, but I just don’t find this show inspiring. While David’s jumpsuit was ugly and scary-making for the model’s boob area, I loved his shout-out to his grandma. My grandmother, Bubba, totally rocked jumpsuits back in the 80s—and she rocked ’em hard with bright blue Reebok high-tops because she was the shit.

Waiting for me on the DVR: last night’s Biggest Loser and Millionaire Matchmaker. But more importantly, Top Chef Masters starts tonight! I am beside myself because my current favorite, Fabio, responded to a tweet from SmLaBadTV. He will always be my top scallop.

Now what?

29 Nov

So it’s Monday and I have the flu. I’m caught up with my stories and in desperate need of good/bad TV to look forward to this evening. And without DWTS, I’m lost! I can’t get down with the skating show. Does anyone have suggestions?

A sigh of relief!

24 Nov

Cheers to Jennifer Grey and Kyle Massey! Lady B and I got together (and welcomed a SmartGuy and a SmartDog to share the couch) for Zen Noodles—highly recommended for those of you in Chicago—drinks and live tweeting. Highlights: Margaret Cho looking awesome, B’s running commentary about the costumes (gack! those pants! why?) and, of course, the big win.

Until next season, I’m personally eagerly awaiting Top Chef All-Stars, sleeping through The Fashion Show and feeling very ambivalent about the Bachelor. I would like to point out, however, that if ABC can bring back Womack, they can also bring back Gilles Marini. Just saying. And now, let’s remember why this is a fantastic idea.

Totally Tweeting!

24 Nov

Follow us—tonight we’ll be talking DWTS!
https://twitter.com/smlabadtv

She carried a watermelon, America was happy!

23 Nov

I am overwhelmed with reality. Not only is there DWTS to comment on, there’s The Fashion Show (but I keep falling asleep so…I guess that’s my comment) and Millionaire Matchmaker in NYC (awesome), The Biggest Loser (damn you and your hotness Jillian Michaels!!) and the fact that The Bachelor seems to be giving the finger—in the form of the return of assface Brad Womack—to its viewers. Seriously?

But today, Jennifer Grey is where it’s at!! I LOVED the freestyle performance and think that “Do You Love Me?” was perfect. First, so smart of them to choose a Dirty Dancing song. America is clearly not voting for the best dancer (see Bristol and her invisible ankle weights), but America loves nostalgia. That Derek. So smart.

Also, for super Dirty Dancing fans like myself, this was a nice way to show that Jennifer has gone from the girl with the watermelon to the super star dancing pro! In the movie, this number was performed by Patrick Swayze and the undeniably awesome Cynthia Rhodes—the Kellerman‘s pros. Full transformation from tentative Baby to kickass Jennifer. Loves it!

And now, let’s relive the original number as we all cross our fingers that tonight’s finale goes as it should. I am still waiting for the “I’ve Had (the time of my life)” reference…

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