because there is sure to be a shitshow on ABC tonight that would be far more tolerable with a bottle of wine nearby.
Tonight friends, we welcome back Brad Womack as the Bachelor. I am strongly against this so far. There are so many other abs I haven’t seen yet, bullshit lines trapped in other men’s mouths.
I assume I will have more to say if I live through the season opener.
So the Judges’ Table last night. Wooza. The always-awesome, intense Jennifer Carroll seemed determined to sabotage herself. It’s totally the kiss of death when all of the judges hate something and the chef maintains it was awesome—over and over again. Being super rude didn’t help either.
I don’t think being mouthy got her kicked off, I think it was the food. But I feel bad for her. If she really is that intense all of the time and puts that much pressure on herself, she must be exhausted. I hope she takes a hot bath and maybe does some yoga. Watching her made me sad in the same way as the Tracy Flick character from Election. Which, coincidently, I think also applied to Brandy in DWTS, but I digress.
Favorite moments of the week: Jamie and Dale’s faces when they learned that they had to interact with children, Trey’s face when he saw his cot. Fabio selling his gnocchi with tales of his grandma. What’s up with Tiffany though? She was a force and seems to be kinda stuck in the middle.
Another awkward moment: Bringing back the host from season 1. What was that about?
Oh yes, it was me. I mean it’s fine and everything, but I just don’t find this show inspiring. While David’s jumpsuit was ugly and scary-making for the model’s boob area, I loved his shout-out to his grandma. My grandmother, Bubba, totally rocked jumpsuits back in the 80s—and she rocked ’em hard with bright blue Reebok high-tops because she was the shit.
Waiting for me on the DVR: last night’s Biggest Loser and Millionaire Matchmaker. But more importantly, Top Chef Masters starts tonight! I am beside myself because my current favorite, Fabio, responded to a tweet from SmLaBadTV. He will always be my top scallop.
So it’s Monday and I have the flu. I’m caught up with my stories and in desperate need of good/bad TV to look forward to this evening. And without DWTS, I’m lost! I can’t get down with the skating show. Does anyone have suggestions?
Cheers to Jennifer Grey and Kyle Massey! Lady B and I got together (and welcomed a SmartGuy and a SmartDog to share the couch) for Zen Noodles—highly recommended for those of you in Chicago—drinks and live tweeting. Highlights: Margaret Cho looking awesome, B’s running commentary about the costumes (gack! those pants! why?) and, of course, the big win.
Until next season, I’m personally eagerly awaiting Top Chef All-Stars, sleeping through The Fashion Show and feeling very ambivalent about the Bachelor. I would like to point out, however, that if ABC can bring back Womack, they can also bring back Gilles Marini. Just saying. And now, let’s remember why this is a fantastic idea.
Follow us—tonight we’ll be talking DWTS!