Liking The Killing

Knocked on my ass by a springtime cold last week, I had time to watch some truly awful TV (The Real Housewives of NY, Say Yes to the Dress, countless bad movies). But I also checked out AMC’s homage to Twin Peaks, actually a remake of a Danish show, The Killing. So far, loving it!

As a Twin Peaks super fan, I was a little skeptical about another “who killed the seemingly nice teenager who probably kinda wasn’t” show set in the northwest. But the characters are interesting, the plot is compelling and while it does lack the joyful wackiness of Twin Peaks, it works for me and I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes.

In case anyone forgot …

Kirstie Alley shook it here first!

What’s On

With so many stories on and the allure of the tweet, we seem to have gotten behind here at SLBTV!

Last night’s Chicago Code (I hear it’s a good one) is waiting for me on the DVR, Top Chef is new tonight and the Grey’s Anatomy musical episode (which I’m concerned about—unless it’s all Miranda and Callie ((thanks to lady B for clue-in on Callie’s vocal chops)) all day long) airs tomorrow. What I’m saying is: This is a good week for TV.

Last week marked the end of the worst season of The Bachelor ever. It was as expected, but the After the Final Rose was a mess. Not even a hot mess. Chris Harrison was a total jerk and eager to make the ladies cry and not eager to offer up tissues. I’m also over the rejected bachelor/ette as new bachelor/ette, but I will give Ashley a chance because she’s from Maine! Go Maine! Also, we learned that Vienna is going to be on The Bachelor Pad. I’ll pretend for a second that I don’t plan to watch.

The Biggest Loser is pretty good this season—we all love Courtney, right?—but I am worried about these new shiny boxing trainer people. And is it me or is everyone going a little overboard with the being nice and giving up prizes and offering to go home? I mean it makes sense sometimes and is nice, but it’s a little much.

And finally, Dancing With the Stars kicked off on Monday. Front runner: The Karate Kid! Best moment of the show was when Bruno went off on a Some Like it Hot tangent.

Thanks to Robert Couse-Baker for the pic!

Wonder Woman!

I know that the return of all of the shows and toys from my childhood is sort of a scam. I mean, come up with new ideas already. That said, Wonder Woman is coming back to TV and I can’t help it, my golden lasso is in a twist. I feel good about the series being in David Kelly’s hands and while I know nothing about the new WW, she seems fine and, as HuffPo reports Lynda Carter approves. I’m in.

I hope they still have the invisible plane from the original series, it would be a shame to have to shell out for a new one.

Farewell, Fabio.

I heart Fabio, but I think he confused Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel. Or was that a little jab? Hmmm…..

Womack Woes

Okay, my head exploded last week when the Bachelor got all Elvis-y! Everyone knows I love Elvis and have certain theories about my own past life as the King, so despite my growing hatred for this season of the most dramatic show on television, I was enchanted.

Brad took the Ashleys to Viva Elvis (lucky bitches!)—but wait, they were there to be IN the show, not the audience. Oh ABC…never saw that coming. Anyway, dumb people talked about dumb things, he picked the Ashley with the larger forehead and then they were suspended over the crowd as “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” played. But it looked like she was wearing air mail, indicating that “Return to Sender” would have been the more appropriate song. But then Brad was sort of done up military style (post Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell—did you see that eyeliner!) so maybe the mail dress was to indicate distance. But I digress.

The highlight of the season: cutting to the rejected Ashley crying in the cab (what happened to the limo? Did that funeral director girl blow the budget for the episode buying that ugly bag at Fendi?) while, “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” played in the background. Hilarious.

I don’t have much love for this season, the girls are lame and Womack is vapid on his best days. But I will give ABC kudos for the Vegas episode. Prediction for tonight: we finally figure out who Jackie is.

I need to take a moment to express my total excitement for The Chicago Code, which starts tonight on Fox. Not only was part of it filmed on my old block (we got police notices telling us not to be alarmed about random gunfire which was pretty cool), it stars my girlfriend Jennifer Beals.

Circus Folk Do Not Make Your Show Interesting

One of my biggest TV problems is that I have trouble distinguishing between bad TV and good-bad TV. From the fall 2010 season, of the shows that started out good-bad, Hellcats turned out to just be bad, Law and Order: Los Angeles is good-bad, and Hawaii 5-0 actually ended up good.

If a show looks like it might have potential I like to give it a few episodes to try to find it’s footing. After three episodes of The Cape I’m pretty sure that it’s found its footing. Problem is, it’s completely the wrong foot.  I can appreciate a world populated with superheroes – I loved Heroes and it’s fully-realized world – but The Cape hasn’t bothered to create a storyline that’s even remotely compelling. Give me a lead who has a little bit of charisma, and a script that doesn’t feel like it’s just trying to fill a cliche quota.  Even an entire circus tent full of “wacky” characters can’t hide the creaky dialogue and plot. The only guy that I’m rooting for is a bad guy who seems like he might be good, but then maybe isn’t, even though I want him to be. Ambiguity can be good, but completely mis-directing your audience because you can’t seem to decide what direction the character will go in does not make me what to stick around while you figure it out.

I have no doubt I’ll watch a couple more episodes – if nothing else it’s good for a laugh – but The Cape looks like it’s well on it’s way to being officially bad TV. If it gets good-bad, I’ll let you know.

Wine-less Weeknight Going to be Tough….

because there is sure to be a shitshow on ABC tonight that would be far more tolerable with a bottle of wine nearby.

Tonight friends, we welcome back Brad Womack as the Bachelor. I am strongly against this so far. There are so many other abs I haven’t seen yet, bullshit lines trapped in other men’s mouths.

I assume I will have more to say if I live through the season opener.

 

Tracy Flick Syndrome

So the Judges’ Table last night. Wooza. The always-awesome, intense Jennifer Carroll seemed determined to sabotage herself. It’s totally the kiss of death when all of the judges hate something and the chef maintains it was awesome—over and over again. Being super rude didn’t help either.

I don’t think being mouthy got her kicked off, I think it was the food. But I feel bad for her. If she really is that intense all of the time and puts that much pressure on herself, she must be exhausted. I hope she takes a hot bath and maybe does some yoga. Watching her made me sad in the same way as the Tracy Flick character from Election. Which, coincidently, I think also applied to Brandy in DWTS, but I digress.

Favorite moments of the week: Jamie and Dale’s faces when they learned that they had to interact with children, Trey’s face when he saw his cot. Fabio selling his gnocchi with tales of his grandma. What’s up with Tiffany though? She was a force and seems to be kinda stuck in the middle.

Another awkward moment: Bringing back the host from season 1. What was that about?

Guess who stayed awake through The Fashion Show.

Oh yes, it was me. I mean it’s fine and everything, but I just don’t find this show inspiring. While David’s jumpsuit was ugly and scary-making for the model’s boob area, I loved his shout-out to his grandma. My grandmother, Bubba, totally rocked jumpsuits back in the 80s—and she rocked ’em hard with bright blue Reebok high-tops because she was the shit.

Waiting for me on the DVR: last night’s Biggest Loser and Millionaire Matchmaker. But more importantly, Top Chef Masters starts tonight! I am beside myself because my current favorite, Fabio, responded to a tweet from SmLaBadTV. He will always be my top scallop.